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How to ace your job application

By EMILY SZPAK Staff  Writer

Job hunting is difficult for anyone searching for a career, but especially for teens. A large step in a teen’s life is to finally start having responsibilities, and begin providing for themselves dollar-by-dollar.

Most of the time though, it is because your parents have finally come to the realization that you are almost an adult and, congratulations, you have been cut off. With gas and food to pay for, this is not a time for slacking. It is time to swallow your pride and get a mediocre part-time job!

As a teen who has recently been a victim of my parents’ financial wrath, the job hunt has been longer and more tedious than I ever thought it would be. After applying to countless jobs, I have become well-adjusted to the application process.

If you have never applied for a job, the application process is simple. The establishment you have ‘dreamed’ to become apart of would just like to know if you are a well-rounded individual or a sociopath.

Regardless of where you stand, from personal experience, it is easy to fake it. In reality, circle ‘strongly agree’ for the sentences that sound good, and circle ‘strongly disagree’ for anything that sounds terrible. You can outsmart their mind games that get you to admit you are emotionally unstable.

“I hate applying online because it doesn’t feel as personal as going into the store. Some stores only allow it online, that’s why it’s best to follow up by going in and checking the status,” says junior Deanna Fisher.

Another part of the application process that I have come across on every application is the reference list. This is where you list a non-family member adult you have known for years that can speak highly of you to build up the fake persona you are going for.

The ideal reference is one of your mom’s best friends. More ideally is one of your mom’s best friends that never had their own kids. When you ask them if it would be alright to put them down, they often believe it is their life-long duty to recommend you for this job since they do not have their own child and they can now live vicariously through you.

If the “single middle-aged mom’s BFF” is out of question, the “middle-aged woman with grown-up children that never really amounted to anything mom’s BFF” will also work.

“They rarely call your references, so don’t sweat that part of the application too much. Just make yourself look good, even if you are not,” says an anonymous junior.

When looking for a job, especially after you have not seen much success, it is important to stop being such a stuck-up brat because this is the real world and thus far no one wants you. All jobs are looking for experience, and if this is your first job, you have none and are useless. It is impossible to get experience in this world if you have no experience, so suck it up and go into that odd smelling convenience store, walk up to the strange old man with a lazy eye and ask for a job.

First jobs are not glamorous or ideal; they are awful and will work you hard. I cannot relate because I am unable to assert myself in the work environment because I am not aggressive and have an overwhelming fear of rejection, but I can imagine that when you get your first paycheck and you can pay for your own Taco Bell, all the agonizing effort will have been worth it.

What are your secrets when applying for a job?

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