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How to ace your interview

by EMILY SZPAK Staff Writer 

If you’ve read my latest article on how to ace your application, you were probably able to successfully obtain an interview. If you haven’t obtained an job interview, I don’t know what to tell you – you’re probably the problem. However, for all of you successful applicants, here are a few tips on how to ace your job interview.

If you get a call asking to schedule a phone interview, schedule the interview and then just show up. Whether it’s due to poor listening skills or just phone jitters, the business will take this as a sign of initiative.

They will think, “Wow, look at them, they must really want the job.” Even though you may be interrupting someone’s tentative schedule and you may be a nuisance to the staff, who cares?! The world revolves around you and they can take time out of their day to ask you questions.

Most jobs will insist on the face-to-face interview, however. This is where you dress in your mom or dad’s clothes and pretend to be someone you’re not!

Try and make yourself seem as professional as possible, even if the most impressive thing you’ve done with your life is coming in 3rd place at the 5th grade talent show. Perhaps you’re completely inexperienced and unqualified, but no one has to know that!

The tip I’m about to give you will change your interview process forever – lie. Lying is your best friend in that 5×5 office space as the walls are closing in on you. If you’ve made a false persona on your application, it is especially important to keep the character going.

“I don’t see anything wrong with bending the truth on your application. Just make sure you know your story inside and out,” says an anonymous senior.

When you first arrive, firmly shake the hand of your future manager and smile like your parents aren’t forcing you to get a job.

Sitting in the awkward silence will soon be broken by a ridiculously specific question that you have no answer to. Steer clear of the “uhhhhhh” when thinking of an answer to a question. If you have to think for an extended amount of time, try a “well..”.

Realistically, you are not allowed to think of the answers to a question. You need to know the answers like you got a chance to look the sheet over and prepare your answers the night before.

“I’m not very quick on my feet, so the questions they throw at me don’t usually get good answers,” says junior Nicole Cohen.

The questions will be pretty much the same. They will ask about how you’ve overcome a specific obstacle, and a time where you exceeded someone’s expectations. This is where the lying comes in.

If you’re quick on your feet like I am, just try to say you do all of those things you know you should do, but are too lazy to actually do. Community service is always a good thing to slip in, and bragging about your work ethic and organization skills.

I am lazy, the kind of lazy that you’d think I should see a specialist about; however, I know what it takes to work hard. I just chose not to. This is why I am exceptional at lying and creating a near perfect persona.

Interviewers want to hear you brag about yourself, so don’t hold back. Yeah, maybe that other applicant has 10 years of retail experience, but do they devote a portion of their lives to helping homeless Ugandan orphans? No! But according to your resume, you do.

Have you ever told a white lie in your job interview?

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