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Doctors say Bieber’s hair may have the cure to cancer

I will let you know now that Justin Bieber’s hair really does not have the cure to cancer, but I am sure that headline caught your attention, right?

As I read more and more online newspapers, I have realized that headlines of some articles leave me puzzled about what the article is about, and how it could possibly be true. Headlines are supposed to give you a clear idea about what the article is about. Below are just a few cases of articles with bizarre and hard-to-believe headlines and how I interpret them.

“Smart Arms Control the Potential Chaos of Octopus Movement”: So what I’m getting out of this is that it probably has something to do with an octopus. But taking into consideration everything else that is in the headline, I have no idea.

Sophomore Connor Kozar said, “Yeah I honestly could not tell you what that article could possibly be about. It doesn’t even make any sense actually.”

“Opportunity Rolls a Martian Marathon”: So maybe there is going to be a marathon and the participants will be Martians? Yeah sounds about right.

“Our ‘Pale Blue Dot'”: The author of this article definitely is into keeping things short and sweet, I guess. I am going to go out on a limb here and say it is about a pale blue dot. What is a pale blue dot and what’s so significant about this pale blue dot? I do not know, and I really wish I would have had a little bit more insight about it from the headline.

“Killer Whales Learn How To Speak Dolphin”: I have no idea how scientists would be able to know or teach animals a language of another animal. How would they even know killer whales are learning it?

“Remote Control Humans are Here”: I guess we can now be controlled by remotes. Science is advancing every day, but it is hard to believe that we can now be controlled by remotes. It may not be exactly true, but considering what the headline says, it is.

“The Story About This Panda in Prison”: What could a poor innocent panda do that would land it in jail? Eating too much bamboo?

“That’s actually really funny because why would a panda be in prison? It makes no sense,” said sophomore Jenna Cutrone.

“Device Allows Hearing Impaired to Listen with Tongue”: I would love to know how that device could possibly help someone hear with their tongue. I guess your tongue must have more abilities than just tasting.

“Grow Your Own Custom Muscles”: The only way I know how to “grow” my own muscles is to hit the gym. I’m not really sure how I can grow my own custom ones, though.

“Judge Says Two Lab Chimps Can Fight for their Freedom”: Why is a judge having chimps fight for their freedom? Does this mean they have to go to court to obtain their freedom? Well, if that’s what the headline is saying, that will sure be an interesting trial.

Although these headlines sound unbelievable and are hard to interpret, it does have me wanting to click on it and read more. These headlines may not have all the necessary things to make a proper headline, but they sure will catch your eye, making you want to learn more.

What are some weird article headlines that you have encountered recently?

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